Teka teki kelakar complete set
Jom layan teka-teki kelakar nie. Pastu korang tulis kat bawah korang dapat jawab berapa..kalau lebih daripada 10 bleh jawab koorang mmg seorang yang sengal...kwak2...!!!
1. Lubang ape yang rasanye hangat, nikmat dan nyaman ?
2. Pintu ape yang walaupun dengan 10 org pun tak leh nak tolak ?
3. Saya ade 3 kepala, 4 tangan dan 5 kaki. Siapakah saya ?
4. Apa dia 'Jauh di mata, dekat di hati' ?
5. Kenape lelaki jarang kene penyakit anjing gila ?
6. Ape persamaan Michael Jordan ngan Michael Jackson ?
7. Nak mencari sikit punye susah, bile dah dapat buang, ape bendanya ?
8. Ape persamaan kain jemuran ngan telefon ?
9. Knape pokok kelapa kat depan rumah harus ditebang ?
10. Jilat-jilat bila dah basah baru cucuk
11. Banyak-banyak bas, bas apa yang pandai ?
12. Apa perbezaan lampu stadium ngan lampu bilik ?
13. Ahmad bin Abu, kambing bin apa ?
14. Ape benda bila masuk segitiga bila kuar bergulung-gulung ?
15. Antara kapal terbang dengan kuih lepat liat, mana satu yang paling tinggi ?
16. Masa dia hidup kita menyanyi, masa dia mati kita tepuk tangan
17. Scorpion kaler apa ?
18. Ada sorang imam, tengah sembahyang pastu ada sekor anjing lalu kat depan dia. Pastu dia jilat kaki dia. BATAL TAK AIR SEMBAHYANG IMAM TU ?
Jawapan
1. LUBANGun pagi2, tarik selimut pas tu tido balik
2. Pintu yang ade tulis 'TARIK'
3. Pembohong
4. Usus
5. Sebab lelaki ni kan 'buaya'
6. Dua-dua tak kenal korang :D
7. Tahi hidung
8. Dua-dua kalau dah 'kringgg' bole diangkat
9. Mestilah kene tebang, sape nak cabut pokok kelapa. Gile ape...
10. Masukkan benang dalam jarum
11. Bas sekolah. The only bas pegi sekolah
12. Lampu stadium kalau ada 'game' dia pasang, tapi kalau lampu bilik ada 'game' dia padam
13. Kambing BINatang
14. Seluar dalam ler... hahaha
15. Kuih lepat liat sebab kapal terbang sampai langit je, tapi kuih lepat sampai lelangit
16. Lilin masa sambut EPI BESDAY
17. Kala jengking lah...
18. Mana batal sebab anjing tu jilat kaki dia sendiri
support me!
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
(new) I'm Yours Versi Bahasa Melayu
Kau tahu kau buat ku rasa begini
Jauh ku kembara tetapi ku ingin kembali
Biarpun berlabuh malam? tidak ku berhenti
Sebelum terlewat ingin yang terbaik untukmu
Takkan siapa mampu menghalang azamku
Inilah masanya pelajari sesuatu
Takkan ku tunggu lagi
kini aku milik kamu
Buka mata cuba kau lihat
Bukalah minda kau kan bebas
Buka hatimu dan kau temu cinta
Dengarlah muzik ini lagu juga irama
Kita semua bersama
Punya hati jiwa untuk mahu dicinta cinta
Dan takkan ku sangsi
Aku pasti takkan tunggu lagi
Usah ragui masa lalu
Kini aku milik kamu
Dengar bisikan hatiku
Kau kan tahu cerita
Lama benar ku membelek diri di depan cermin
Berpusing menari pabila tiada sesiapa
Melihat rentakku sendiriku tertawa
Kini aku sedar tentang kehidupan ini
Tak perlu pura-pura jadilah diri sendiri
Itulah diriku dan kamu pun tahu
Takkan ku tunggu lagi
kini aku milik kamu
Buka mata cuba kau lihat
Bukalah minda kau kan bebas
Buka hatimu dan kau tahu luas dunia
Dengar dengar dengarlah
Ikutlah rentak kita
Inilah masa untuk kamu percaya
cinta
Download mp3 [ * I'm Yours Versi Melayu * ]. Thanks to jelly fish.
p/s - credit to amri and the geng.
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